


Is It Too Late?

by DeadManWalked



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealous!Eddie, M/M, Misunderstandings, Toxic Relationship, sad buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21707638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadManWalked/pseuds/DeadManWalked
Summary: Buck was tired on being in love with Eddie Diaz with no chance of a future. So he does what he can to move on, meeting a police officer named Jared one evening. However, what he doesn’t expect is for his best friend to hate his boyfriend. Buck finds himself stuck in an uncomfortable predicament of ultimatums.Basically Eddie was a jealous ass and he might loose his best friend because of it.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Character(s)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 457





	1. Too Good To Be True

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing these two and their family so much in my last work of them I thought I’d do it again. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next will be up soon. Also, the first half of this chapter is Bucks POV and the second is Eddie’s.   
> As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.

Buck had fallen for Eddie, and he’d fallen hard. He couldn’t remember when it happened, that gradual decent over the edge separating friendship and something more, but he knows that it’s true. Know that these feelings he has towards his best friend is something more real and stronger than anything he’s felt before. Each day that passes he somehow convinces himself that it’ll go away with time, only it gets stronger each time he sees the other mans face.

At first the man had been content with being secretly in love with Eddie. He was okay with the waiting and the longing, because he knew that so long as he did so there could be nothing that could ruin them. There’s no risk in pretending other than to his own heart. He was more than content with being in love so long as he got to be there, got to keep the laughs and confiding and trust. He got to keep the visits and the pictures Christopher would give him because he didn’t risk throwing it away for something like unrequited feelings.

That was until he became worried when he remembered that he was the only one holding off. Eddie still had the status of openness and the opportunity to try to find a relationship should he please. There was nothing holding him back like there was Buck. He was painfully reminded of this truth when Eddie confided im him, as friends do, about a hookup he had the previous night. 

Buck knew that Eddie wasn’t one for one night stands, but at the same time it had been a year since Shannon died. A year that he knew Eddie hadn’t been with a woman or man, so he understood why the man would choose to relieve himself when he got the opportunity. Logically, it all made perfect sense to Buck. But feeling always overwhelmed that logic in the man, and while he sat there and forced a smile while he listened to the man he loved tell him about the woman he was with the previous night....

He felt destroyed.

Buck had decided that night, whilst tossing and turning in disgust while he imagined Eddie with someone else, that the only option for him was to try to move on. The only option that would protect his heart and help him maintain his relationship with his best friend was to force himself to let go. To un-love, no matter how impossible that night seem. 

That was when he met Jared.

He was at the bookstore on the search for a very specific book that Chris had wanted for his birthday when he clumsily jumped into the man. It wasn’t often that people were taller than Buck, but this guy he ran into was at least a couple inches taller. That was the first thing he noticed before he realized that the guy was also incredibly attractive. Big green eyes with curly brown hair, broad shoulders that led to thick muscular arms.

One thing led to another and somehow Buck left the store with the book and a phone number of a guy named Jared. They’d talked through text for a bit, testing the waters, and that was how Buck learned the guys full name was Jared Stone and he was a police officer. The texts turned into calls and the calls turned into dates. Soon Buck found himself lost in the touch of another man for the first time in over a year, drowning in lust and kisses and so much more. He found that he could allow himself to feel this way for Jared, though it wasn’t near the level of love he still had for Eddie deep inside, without guilt or worry.

A month after their first official date is when Buck felt secure enough to make it official to more than just the two of them. The first people he introduced his boyfriend to were Bobby and Athena on a night they invited him over for dinner, hoping that their approval would make him feel better about the others. They seemed shocked at first, which was expected since his pansexuality was never formally stated, but they quickly adjusted.

It turned out that Athena knew him from work and therefore her approval was faster than anticipated. Bobby followed lead, a bit more hesitant, but by the end of the night Buck felt good about his new relationship. The following weekend is when he introduced Jared to Chim and Hen (again, there was that confusion and shock) but they were automatically supportive as well. Jared and Chim got along with banter and jokes while Hen got along with him over their similar type struggles from the past.

Maddie had found out from Chimney, so Jared was forced to endure a dinner with her interrogations. By the end of the night she didn’t necessarily approve, insisting there was something off about her brothers partner, but didn’t disapprove either. To Buck that was basically a win. He felt on top of the world that night when he made love to his partner and started to genuinely believe there was a chance that he could move on.

Which is why it felt like a sucker punch when Eddie confronted him the day before Chris’s birthday, both of them in the locker room preparing for the workday. He knew it was a mistake not to tell Eddie before the rest of the 118, knew that he’d find out by their loose lips, but he couldn’t help but be a coward and hold it off. Now he was paying the consequences.

“I heard that you have a boyfriend,” Eddie said, voice hard, “Garret, wasn’t it?”

Buck let out a sigh, “Jared. I was meaning to tell you but things have been so cra—“

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pansexual? What, did you think I wouldn’t support you?” Eddie interrupted, slamming his locker shut.

“No, no of course not. It’s just not something I tell people, I guess I just k-kinda assume that people will figure it out themselves.”

When he looked to Eddie he found the other man was oddly closed off, his whole body tense with cold eyes. Buck knew the man probably felt betrayed that he failed to tell him about something so important, let alone that he was the last to find out through someone else. Buck wanted nothing more than to hold him and apologize, but he shut that thought down because he had someone else to hold now.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I heard you guys have been dating for months!”

Buck flinched at the other mans raised voice, “Technically it’s barely been two months now. We’d been talking for a few weeks before anything official happened, I didn’t want to rush. It’s why I didn’t tell anyone until I thought there was something to tell...something that could last?”

“Were you planning on bringing him to Chris’s party tomorrow?” Eddie asked, voice quieter now and somehow that made it hurt more.

Buck shrugged, suddenly unable to look into those brown eyes he loved so much, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want him to come, since he’s a stranger and all. He’d been wanting to meet Chris, ya know since I talk about how much I care about him, but I figured it wouldn’t be a good time. So, um, no I wasn’t.”

Silence hung thick in the air and it was so deafening then Buck was suddenly thankful for the fact that he could hear his own nervous heartbeat. He wasn’t sure what reaction he was expecting, but it was more positive than this. So he smiled sadly at his friend, trying to force down the pain this brought him, and moved to leave the room. His hand was on the door handle when Eddie’s voice stopped him.

“Does he make you happy?”

Buck hesitated, something he was sure his friend noticed, but answered with a soft “yes” before he left. He tried to push down the thought of, ‘not as happy as you would’ve’, as he climbed up the stairs and plastered a big fake smile on his face upon seeing them. The rest of the work day was tense and busy, calls back to back and silence when everyone could feel the chill coming from Eddie. For the first time since he met his best friend, since he fell in love with him, Buck found himself looking forward to getting off so he could be away from him. Away from the hurt that this rejection was causing him. 

He got a message from Eddie that night while laying under the weight of Jared’s body that said that Buck could bring his boyfriend due to Chris’s insistence. He wasn’t sure if that was true, but before he could ponder on it longer his partners hand tightened its hold around his waist and he forced himself to go back to sleep.

•••

The evening of the party had arrived and Eddie was a mixture of many emotions. He was mostly happy that his son was now 9, but a part of him was also nervous. Nervous about the fact his son was growing up, about the fact that he was less than a decade away from the boys graduation, and that he was about to see Buck with his boyfriend. The “Perfect” boyfriend for Buck, according to the rest of the 118.

It drove him insane how much he’s already heard about this Jared guy in the past 48 hours. Chim insisting that he was the hottest guy he’d ever seen while also not being a “total asshat”. Hen insisting that this guy was the perfect match for Buck, being just as kind and loving and playful. Bobby saying that the guy “seems to be what he needs in his life”. Even Athena, argumentatively the most judgmental in her critics, said that she was glad they found each other.

Eddie hated every second of it. He hated hearing about a guy that he didn’t even know existed from people that weren’t his best friend. Despised how everyone seemed to think they were perfect together, when they’d only ever met the guy once. It made him see red, his stomach jerking, and his head spinning. They didn’t know what Buck needed, not like he did. And as he watched his friend walk into the back yard to join them, hand entwined with the tall stranger, he couldn’t help but he bitter because he knew this guy wasn’t what Buck needed.

“Hey guys!” Buck greeted, wide smile on his face as he carried a bag full of presents. “Where the birthday boy?”

Eddie watched as Chris yelled with glee as he walked to give Buck a hug, feeling a bit of that burning in his chest lessen at the sight. Buck kneeled down and handed the birthday bag (nearly the same size as Chris) to him before pecking the kids cheek. Eddie was so distracted with the sight that he didn’t realize Jared had left Bucks side to greet them.

“Athena, Bobby, it’s nice to see you again,” he guy said, voice smooth and kind. “Hey Chim, hows Maddie doing? Still sick? And Hen, how is Karen feeling? I’ve been meaning to bring by some cookies to cheer her up but haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

Eddie couldn’t help but be bitter with how smooth he was when greeting them, as if he knew them for years rather than a few weeks. The guy was far too charming and charismatic for it to not be an act. Despite feeling wary about the guy, Eddie still plastered a forced smile on his face when the guy held out a hand and introduced himself.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Jared said, instantly wrapping his arm around Bucks waist when he joined them.

“Wish I could day the same about you,” Eddie couldn’t help but bite out, ignoring the sharp looks he got from the others.

Eddie noticed the flicker of darkness go through the guys green eyes, how his smile wavered a moment, and mostly how the guy pulled Buck closer in unsubtle possessiveness. He was so focused on these things he missed how Buck deflated at the instant tension that rose in the air.

“So how did you guys meet again?”

Jared smiled genuinely again, “Its pretty cliche actually. Evan ran into me at the library and got all flustered, which was adorable, and I couldn’t help but give him my phone number and help him find the book he was looking for.”

Eddie resisted the eye-roll, but couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the use of Buck’s first name. Obviously this guy didn’t know his best friend as much as he makes it seem. “Oh, _Buck_ you didn’t tell me you’re dating a librarian.”

Athenas eyes went wide at the obvious jab being made while Chim and Hen bit their lips to refrain from laughing awkwardly. Buck had gone uncharacteristically quiet, feeling anxious and worried, with his head ducked. His boyfriend had smirked at the challenge, pulling Buck impossibly closer before responding.

“I’m not,” Jared said, “I’m a police officer actually. I thought you’d know this since you’re supposed to be Evans best friend but it seems like you’re only in this for yourself.”

“Alright,” Bobby interrupted at the rising tensions, “I’m gonna go get some drinks. Do you mind lending me a hand, Jared?”

“Of course not, sir,” there was that charming smile again before the brunette turned to Buck, “I’ll be right back babe.” 

Eddie nearly exploded with rage as he watched the kiss happen as though in slow motion. The kiss was deep and lingered longer than necessary before he pulled back, seemingly satisfied with Bucks flustered state, before walking with Bobby as if nothing happened. He knew he was shaking when Chim placed a firm hand on his shoulder as if to silently tell him to calm down.

“What was that all about, Mr Macho?” Hen asked with forced laughter.

“What are you talking about? I was just asking him questions.”

“Dude,” Chim said as he let go finally, “You were totally being a jerk. You knew he was a cop, I’m pretty sure that was like the first thing we told you after his name.”

Eddie shrugged, “I just don’t think that guy is all you make him out to be. Seems like he’s putting in a show, trying to be someone he isn’t. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hen sighed but turned her attention to the still silent Buck, “You okay there, Buckaroo?”

Buck just nodded and before they knew it Bobby was back with Jared in tow. The man immediately returned to Bucks side, arm over shoulder, and handed him a beer. Eddie narrowed his eyes and knew he should stay silent but couldn’t help speaking,

“He can’t drink, he’s still on blood thinners. You’d know that if you were here when we saved him from a fire truck that nearly killed him.”

It felt as if everyone was either holding their breath or letting out a frustrated sigh. Jared was the only one who spoke, smile no longer on his handsome face, “He got off those two weeks ago. And don’t talk to me about being there for his trauma like it’s something you’re glad to have experienced. I’m there for him everyday now and every night when he struggles with nightmares.”

“Two weeks ago?” Eddie said at the same time the rest of the group said, “Nightmares?”

Buck heaved a sigh, “Jare, I told you not to tell them about those.”

The man turned to Buck as if betrayed, face slowly growing red as he growled out, “How can you make me the bad guy here? I’m trying to defend you from this asshole you call friend and all you can focus on is that I mentioned your nightmares?”

“No, that’s not—“

“Also, why the hell haven’t you said anything to defend me? You’re just standing here like someone kicked your puppy instead of being a man and saying something to defend me.”

“I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again, can we just all please drop this? We’re here for Christopher,” Buck said in an impossibly small voice, looking at the ground with dropped shoulders.

“We’re leaving.”

Bobby was the one to speak again, “Now hold on, let’s not be rash Jared. This has all been a misunderstanding but that doesn’t mean you have to leave.”

“We,” The man stated again, “Are leaving. I’m obviously not wanted here. Come on, Evan, I want to go.”

“But Chris—“

“If you don’t come with me at this very moment then you might as well throw away my number like you’d be throwing away our relationship. I won’t repeat myself again.”

Ultimatums. There were always ultimatums.

Buck nodded weakly, “Okay. Go, um, go start the car while I say goodbye to Chris. I’ll be just a moment, promise.”

Jared seemed satisfied with his boyfriends choice because he agreed before walking off. Buck stayed there a moment, sniffling as he tried to hold back his tears, before looking up at them. His eyes were watery and red, making the beautiful blue pop more than usual, and his bottom lip was shaking. He just nodded as an acknowledgment of his goodbye before walking over to Chris who had just come back outside with his friends in tow.

“Hey buddy,” he whispered gently, “I’m afraid something came up and I have to go home early.”

“But we didn’t even get to have cake or open presents yet,” Chris said sadly.

“I know buddy, I’m sorry. Make sure you save me a piece and maybe we can FaceTime tomorrow while you’re with your Abuela so you can show me all your gifts.”

The boy nodded in understanding, “I’m gonna miss you, Buck. I promise to call tomorrow.”

Buck hugged the boy before kissing his forehead, hoping his tears weren’t obvious this way, “I love you, Buddy. Happy birthday Superman.”

Before anyone had the chance to stop him, Buck was running towards his escape and back to his Jeep. Eddie was sick with guilt when he suddenly realized the consequences of his actions, and realized that he was being eyed down by the rest of the team. He looked back to where his son stood, who’s wide smile was now replaced with a small frown. Almost like the boy knew that his birthday had started off too good to be true.


	2. Consequences of Ultimatums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a life of its own and came out way longer than expected, so I decided to expand the story from a 2 parter to a 3 parter. Your feedback on the first chapter was so amazing and I hope this satisfies you just as much as before. I also hope it toys with your emotions as much as it did mine as I came up with it.
> 
> Warnings: This chapter does mention and show implied toxic relationship, mainly centered around emotional and mental abuse. It’s not too detailed but if this is something that triggers you, beware.

That afternoon when they got back from the party Jared yelled. He yelled a lot, most of the things harsh and horrible. He yelled despite the fact that Buck hadn’t said anything to defend himself, or perhaps that only fueled his anger more. Then, after he was tired of the yelling, he all but dragged Buck back to their room. They had rough and hard sex, as if Jared was trying to remind the man of who he belongs to, until he satisfied his needs and rolled over. Buck sat there, unfinished but uncaring because he was never in the mood to begin with, until he heard the other mans snores and made his way to the shower to clean up.

When that was done he didn’t feel like he deserved the right to go back to bed with his boyfriend. He knew that in a way the man was right, that he had been a bad boyfriend for not defending him, so he dragged himself downstairs to sleep on the couch. The emotional exhaustion from the day outweighed the ache that came with the fact that Eddie had acted the way he did that day. That his best friend hated his boyfriend and in turn didn’t care to spare his own feelings. 

Buck felt many ways over the next few weeks. He felt used each night that Jared would fuck him until he reached his own climax before falling asleep. He was sad that that was the only time in private that the man would touch him or speak to him kindly. He was angry that he was even in this position because Eddie couldn’t be happy for him. But most of all, Buck was tired. 

Which is why when Jared declared that Buck wasn’t allowed to hang out with Eddie without him present, he could only bite his tongue and nod solemnly. Things became easier to agree to after that. Each ask was actually a command, but he couldn’t find it in him to care anymore. He agreed to the fact that he would have to have sex at least once a day with the man, that he would stop talking about Eddie or Chris, that he wouldn’t be joining team meals on Saturday’s anymore, and so on.

By the time Thanksgiving approached Buck was almost completely cut off from the whole team outside of work. They had kept trying to reach out to him by inviting him over to things, activities they normally wouldn’t have asked him to, but each time they were shut down. Not always by Buck himself, but usually by Jared.

Jared who insisted on dropping him off and picking him up from work everyday. Jared who held onto his phone more often than not. Who answers questions for Buck, turns down invites for Buck, and declined physical touch for Buck. The teams liking of him was quick to die as this continued along with their frustrations that their friend had suddenly lost his say in his own life.

The main reason why Buck had allowed all these things to happen is because he didn’t like the ultimatums that were presented if he disagreed. The “you’ll do this if you really loved me”, “if you want to stay with me you have to do this”, or even the occasional “if you don’t do this then you can’t come back home”. There was always something and Buck wasn’t ready to risk everything in case those options were true.

The truth was that Buck was alone, or at least that’s how he came to feel ever since the birthday party. It was a quick fall into isolation since that first night because by the end of that same month he was quickly without his best friend who he had loved. That meant he was without his favorite little guy Christopher. Then it was Maddie and Chimney and everyone. Everyone except Jared, who insisted he was the only one who loved him anymore. The only one who cared enough to fight to stay with him, “unlike all your other friends who’ve left you behind, Evan.” He came to start believing Jared was the only one who loved him enough to stay.

Buck knew this relationship was toxic and that he was being forced into a sole dependence on the other man because of these presented ultimatums. That he wasn’t really as happy as he pretended to be at work. But he was so scared of what would happen if things ended and he turned around to find he was really on his own now. Wouldn’t he be, if even Eddie had turned his back on him?

Thanksgiving was only a couple days away when Buck worked up the nerve one night to ask the question, “I was wondering if I could go to the team Thanksgiving at Bobby’s?”

He felt the man holding him tense before answering with a tight voice, “I’m not your keeper, Evan. Of course you’re allowed to go.” A beat then, “Will that Diaz guy be there?”

Buck sighed softly, “The whole team and their families will be there.”

“Then I’m going as well,” Jared stated, “Now roll over, I need to go to work early tomorrow and i need relief before then.”

Buck silently did as told and waited for the man to finish before letting his mind wander to what would happen on Thanksgiving. He was curious to what all had changed in their lives since he last properly talked to them and felt guilty for not knowing. He wasn’t sure if Karen has recovered yet, or if Athena has caught that one killer, or if Chimney decided on which ring he was going to buy Maddie. The problem was he wasn’t even allowed to talk to the team anymore even at work unless it was strictly professional.

He found himself excited for the first time in months.

•••

The team hadn’t expected to see Buck arrive to thanksgiving dinner that night, but when they saw him they weren’t surprised that his partner wasn’t far behind. They let it pass without question because they didn’t want to risk scaring him off. So they kept their snide comments and glares for Jared to themselves as much as possible and let their relief at Bucks presence take front.

The first thing they noticed was that their friend was smiling for the first time in weeks. A smile that made his blue eyes shine and his cheeks flush a faint pink. Then they noticed him look to Jared, as if silently asking permission, before he pulled each of them into a hug for greeting. Eddie noticed how he was the only one that got a shake of the head and therefore no hug, which stung deeper than he anticipated.

After the initial greeting Buck all but ran to Christopher (who hadn’t seen him in person since his birthday) and picked the boy up, spinning them both around with big happy cheers. Then he held the kid, like he was afraid the boy would be taken from him at any minute, and laughed. Eddie couldn’t help but think about how much this reminded him of when he returned home from deployment and did the same thing.

“God, Buck is going to be such a good dad one day,” Hen commented as she smiled at the sight like the others. 

“He would be,” Jared agreed, “but he’s not going to be a dad. We’re not going to have kids.”

Bobby crosses his arms, “What do you mean? Bucks wanted to have children since I’ve first met him, so there’s no way he would change his mind.”

“I told him I refused to have them, so we won’t.”

The mans tone let them know that it wasn’t up for discussion, either between them or between himself and Buck. The tone was so cold and final that they could only nod between themselves in awkward silence. They were all furious inside, burning with a hatred they didn’t often feel for people. Eddie wanted nothing more than to grab the man and slam him into a wall as hard as possible, shouting that he wasn’t allowed to dictate Bucks life. Bobby even felt an anger inside him that had him excuse himself as to not cause a scene.

“Where’s his sister?” Jared asked, looking around the room.

“She’s on her way, had to pick up a shift this morning,” chimney explained.

“Oh I do hope she won’t be long,” the man said, though his voice lacked sympathy. “Otherwise she won’t be able to say hello to Evan before we leave.”

“Leave?” Athena asked, tone dark with annoyance, “where exactly are you guys going? We haven’t even sat down to eat yet.”

“I told him we could only afford to drop in to say hello because I already had plans to eat with my family tonight. That means I’ll have to drop him off at home soon so I won’t be late.”

Buck actually had no idea of this since his boyfriend hadn’t actually told him. Though he had this gut feeling on his way over there that morning that he wouldn’t be allowed to stay as long as he was hoping, which is why he was clinging on to Chris for as long as he could. He didn’t know when he’d be allowed to see him again. Any of them really, but he was too afraid to walk away and talk to his team in case another fight happened. He didn’t want to ruin their thanksgiving.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. You can just leave him here and go to your dinner and I’ll make sure he gets back home later this evening,” Hen suggested, trying to keep things light. “If not me than I’m sure one of the others are more than willing. Eddie drives near that area on his way home anyways.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Jared said shortly, rolling his eyes. “Evan said he wasn’t feeling well anyways, insisted that I drop him off actually. Not to mention he no longer feels comfortable with Eddie.”

Another lie that Buck was completely unaware was being told on his behalf, but again he wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d known. It wasn’t the first time his boyfriend was excusing him from activities for a so called illness. He also wouldn’t have been surprised about the biggest lie, which was that he wasn’t comfortable with Eddie. He’d never been more comfortable in his life than when he was working or hanging out with his best friend, which is exactly the reason why he was no longer allowed to do so.

“What the,” Eddie stopped himself for yelling as he looked back to the kids behind them, “what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t trust you,” Jared shrugged, “and therefore neither does he. You’re...anger is a danger to him and he doesn’t want to risk being hurt.”

“I would never,” Eddie growled, “He’s my best friend.”

“Was.”

“What?”

Jared rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smirk on his face, “You _were_ his best friend, Edmundo. Now you’re nothing to him. Oh, look at the time! We should get going soon, but don’t worry you’ll get to say goodbye before we move.”

“What do you mean by move?” Athena asked, eyebrow raised in confusion but eyes burning with something harsher.

“I’m getting transferred to San Francisco and we have to move out by the end of the month. He insisted that he moved with me, so he’s putting in his transfer request tomorrow morning.”

Jared left out the fact that Buck was unaware that he was doing any such thing. He had secretly requested that he be transferred to San Fransisco and was breaking the news to his boyfriend tonight. It was the only reason why he was letting Buck go here at all, so that he would be easier to convince into doing the transfer. After all, how could Buck argue once he learns that his so called family already knew about the move and didn’t say anything? He didn’t need to know they only just found out.

“You can’t do that! You already forced him out of our lives and taken away his own choices, so you can’t force him out of his home too. His sister is here. We, his family, are here. His job is here.” Eddie argued heatedly, body burning hot with anger as he slowly got louder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man insisted with faux innocence. “He insisted. Maybe he doesn’t like it here as much as you’ve convinced yourselves.”

“We are his family,” Bobby re-stated as he joined them. “He loves us and we love him.”

“Not as much as he loves me,” Jared sneered, but then immediately smiled and raised his voice to something smoother as he said, “Evan, I’m afraid we must get going now.”

Bucks heart squeezed because he knew it was only a matter of time before he was forced to leave, “But, we only jus—“

“My dinner, remember?”

Buck sighed softly at the obvious lie he was being forced to follow, “Right, you’re uh dinner. Can’t we at least wait for Mad—“

“We don’t have time for this, Evan. Now I have made myself clear, it is time to go. Don’t cause a scene like you always do.”

Buck bit back a sob and nodded, “Sorry. I’ll just say goodbye and we can go.”

“No time for that, you’ve taken too long as is because you insisted on arguing. You have nobody but yourself to blame. I’ve already given my apologies for your rudeness to your coworkers, so let’s go.”

Buck caved in on himself as his heart broke, dropping his head like a punished dog, and began to walk towards his partner. He barely made it a step before a small hand grabbed his own to stop him.

“Where are you going, Bucky?” Chris asked in sad confusion, “You only just got here, you can’t leave yet.”

Buck swore he could feel his heart sink to his stomach as he let out a shaky breath, but he never got the chance to respond because Jared was already answering the question.

“Sorry, kid, but Evan has to go home. We can’t stay any longer.”

“But we haven’t even eaten yet! I made a pie for him and everything, please you can’t go!”

Buck lowered himself to the ground and bit his wobbling lip, cursing himself inwardly for not being strong enough to hold back his tears, and spoke, “I know buddy. I’m sorry, but I really can’t stay any longer. It’s going to be okay.”

“If it’s okay then why are you crying?” Chris asked softly as he wiped away the mans tears. “I’ve really missed you Buck.”

Buck winced and turned to his boyfriend with pleading eyes, “Jared, please can we stay for just—“

“No. Now get the hell up and get outside before I have to make you. Stop being selfish, you don’t need to ruin these people’s holiday more than you already have.”

Buck was sobbing now, especially when he saw the little boy in front of him crying, and nodded. He knew Jared was right, that he was ruining their evening and making a scene. His voice was shaking when he whispered to Christopher, “I love you, Chris. So so much.”

He stood up and forced himself with heavy feet to walk towards his boyfriend, face burning in embarrassment at the mess he made, until he was stopped by a firm hand on his arm. He sighed because even after all this time he knew it was Eddie’s hand stopping him without having to look up to confirm it. The hold was gentle despite the firm grip so he couldn’t help but lean into it.

“Buck,” Eddie whispered softly. “Buck, Look at me...Please.”

Eddie let out a sigh of relief when the man looked at him, those sad baby blues looking at him with a tenderness unlike any other. It took away his breath because his best friend hadn’t looked him in the eyes in too long. In so long that he couldn’t remember when it last was.

“Stay,” Eddie pleaded, uncaring about the tears in his own eyes that blurred his vision. “Don’t go with him, you belong here with us. We’re your family and we miss you. So stay.”

Before Buck had a chance to respond he was roughly pulled from the other mans hold. The large harsh grip on his other wrist could only belong to his boyfriend. He didn’t get the chance to say anything to anyone because he was already being dragged out of the house as he listened to the others calling out his name. His eyes locked on to Maddie’s for a few seconds, seeing her confusion, before he was being shoved into the passenger seat of the truck.

The entire ride back to Jared apartment was brutal. Harsh words and curses flying his way but never meeting his tears. Buck couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to likely be the last time he would get to see his family for a long time. Possibly, he thought miserably, forever. So all he could do was sit there and cry. For himself, for his family, and for what horrible future he would be stuck in now that he was on his own.

A future where the only person who would love him anymore would be someone like Jared. Someone who was cold and rough and controlling. A future where he would force himself to accept that he would never have children to call his own or even pets to fill that void. One where he was a stay at home husband, since he knows Jared would never let him work, and the only use he was for was sex. One where he would find himself in a marriage where the other partner was sure to cheat and he would have to pretend not to know.

It was so painfully different than the one he had always hoped for with Eddie and Christopher. Then again, his mother always did warn him to never get his hopes up because she knew that in the end he would be hurt. In the end he would end up just like her, despite his past promises to himself to never let that happen.

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” he whispered to himself, remembering her voice as she said those words so long ago, after Jared had locked him in their room and left.

•••

Eddie was a strong mixture of furious and mournful. He tried to control his tears and his hammering heart so that he could comfort his crying son. The whole house had lost its life since the door had shut. Maddie came in demanding answers and when she got them she was so furious that Athena was worried she might have to arrest the woman just to prevent a murder. Chimney had excused them both to take her to the backyard for a breather.

“What are we going to do? We can’t just sit back and do nothing...this is Buck we’re talking about,” Hen said finally, looking around at the house that felt colder.

“We should go to him,” Eddie answered, standing up to hold his son. “You guys can stay here if you want, ya know, to finish the dinner. But I can’t leave him on his own and Chris needs him too.”

“You guys go first while we work to gather the kids and pack the food to bring over. We can meet you guys at Eddie’s house, if that’s okay?” Bobby suggested. “I don’t think it will be good if we stay there and Jared gets home...I don’t want to imagine what could result from that. But at the same time he deserves to have a dinner with us all.”

“I’ll message you Jared’s address, since I heard that’s where they moved in to. You be safe, Eddie, and bring our boy home,” Athena said. “Go now before it’s too late, I’ll let Maddie know.”

Eddie nodded as he handed his home key to Bobby before rushing out the door with Chris in his arms. Normally he would’ve insisted the boy stay behind, but he knew that Buck loved the kid. That Buck would only believe how much they both loved him, along with the rest of the team, if they were there together to prove it. He kissed Chris’s tear wet check after buckling him in before rushing to the drivers side to start his journey to saving the man he loved.

Chris spoke up a little after they left, “Is Buck okay, daddy? He seems really sad.”

Eddie swallowed, mouth having gone dry at the question, “He’s just feeling alone is all, bud. We’re gonna go over there and remind him we love him.”

A long silence followed after that and for a minute Eddie thought that answer had satisfied the boys curiosity until, “Why is he dating that man when he loves you? His boyfriend seems mean and scary. Does Bucky not love you anymore? Does he not love me?”

Eddie felt tears breach his eyes again and took a deep breath before speaking, “He does love us, kid. I just think...I made a mistake a couple months ago and I think I hurt his feelings. I didn’t let him know how much I loved him.”

“Is that why he’s with the mean man? I don’t trust him, he makes Buck stay away from us.”

“Yeah, Chris,” Eddie whispered as his voice broke, “that’s why we gotta be strong and save him.”

“Like Superman?”

“Just like Superman,” Eddie agreed as he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex that Athena sent him. “Because we love Buck and he’s our family. You ready to go buddy?”

He looked back and saw a brave smile on the kids face, “Let’s save Buck like he saved me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is welcome and appreciated as always!


	3. Opening Closed Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the end! This story had such amazing feedback from you all that I couldn’t help but continue writing it with hopes to fulfill all your questions. It hasn’t been edited (they usually haven’t been) so beware of any possible mistakes. This chapter is much fluffier than the last.
> 
> Spanish translations are at the end notes. Most are from my own knowledge and some with translate.

When Eddie arrived to the apartment door it was locked. He knocked gently at first but when he got no response the knocks became harder and louder, a sign of both his frustration and desperation. He wasn’t afraid about making too much noise and being met by Jared because he had double checked the parking lot that the mans car wasn’t here. It seemed he really did have a party or dinner to attend, but Eddie was also sure that Buck wouldn’t have been invited.

Eddie had almost messaged his best friend but he knew that Bucks phone was most likely with his boyfriend like it usually was. That and he suspected that his number was blocked, whether or not Buck knew it he wasn’t sure. Eddie pauses after his long series of knocking when he heard the distant yell of what sounded like Buck from inside.

“I can’t come to the door,” he heard.

It didn’t make any sense to Eddie but he also suspected it was the truth. He sighed and almost considered kicking in the door until he turned and saw Chris holding a small key in his hand. The boy smiled bashfully before confessing,

“Buck gave it to me tonight. I didn’t realize he put it in my pocket until right now...”

Eddie chuckled quietly before grabbing the key and unlocking the apartment door. When he stepped in he kept his son behind him while surveying the apartment to confirm that Jared really wasn’t here. Once he deemed it safe, he closed the door and called out for Buck again. 

“Eddie? I’m in the room,” Buck said, voice clearer now. “He...uh...I’m locked inside. He usually leaves the keys on top of the fridge.”

Eddie bit his tongue at the fact that his best friend was practically being held prisoner in his own house and set his son on the bar stool. He gave the kid the phone and let him know that if anything bad happens to call the police. The kid nodded, still trying to be brave, and Eddie kissed his head before heading up the stairs quickly after grabbing the hidden key.

When he pulled open the bedroom door he was greeted with the sight of a disheveled but relieved Buck. He immediately grabbed the man and pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around broad shoulders and tucking his face into the crook of his neck. He felt Buck tense for a second before instantly melting into him as if he’d been waiting for this to happen forever. He felt Buck hold him back with the same ferocity while he thought about how much he missed feeling those arms around his waist.

“I’ve got you, Buck,” Eddie mumbled softly, “I’m sorry it took me this long but I’m not letting you go.”

Buck pulled back and leaned into Eddie’s hands, who had immediately cradled his head as his thumbs wiped his tears, “I’m so sorry, Eds. I swear I di-didnt want to ignore you guys or ruin your night, but h—I didn’t have a choice. Maybe I should’ve fought harder but—“

“No, mi amor, no es tu culpa,” Eddie whispered as he hugged him again. “No hiciste nada mal. Esta bien, te tenemos.”

Eddie started to speak more reassuring words in Spanish as his friend clung to him tightly. He had learned after a few months into their friendship that Buck was semi-fluid in Spanish after his years in South America. He had learned after a year, which was a few months into the trauma that came with the fire truck explosion, that his own speaking of Spanish to the man was the easiest way to calm him. He wasn’t sure why, but he also never questioned it.

When Buck was calm again Eddie spoke whilst running his hands through Bucks curls, “It doesn’t matter what could’ve been done to prevent this, all that matters now is that you’re safe. That we won’t leave you and you can come back home with us, where you belong, if...If you want to?”

Buck melted at the fact that for the first time in months he finally had a choice. He was finally allowed to answer a question about his own life and decide what he wanted. He’d almost forgotten that was something that used to be a constant in his life. He almost swore he never loved Eddie more than he did right that moment as he listened to the worried uncertainty in the question.

“I don’t know what I can do anymore, Eddie,” Buck confessed in a small voice, like a scared child. “He made sure I...That there’s nothing left for me outside of him. All my belongings are here, or at least what he let me keep. My apartment has been gone for months and he made me trade in the Jeep and—“

“Aye Dios mío,” Eddie murmured before rubbing the other mans back comfortingly, “Don’t worry about that, Querido. You can come home with me, well me and Chris, and we’ll take care of you...It’s where you belong.”

Buck pulled back in shock, but his uncertainty didn’t last long when he saw the stubborn earnestness on Eddie’s face. He couldn’t help but lean into the other mans hands as they cupped his cheeks gently (oh so gently that he nearly cried) and smiled when he felt the thumbs stroking his cheeks. However, his heart nearly stopped when one of those thumbs went lower until it was tracing his lower lip. For the first time in a while he remembered what it felt like to _want_ , to have the desire to actually kiss or love or anything instead of being told to.

“Eddie...”

“Soon,” Eddie promised, “When you’re home and safe and I—When I can love you without consequences, then we will talk. We will do whatever you do or don’t want to do. But for now we have to get you out of here.”

Buck nodded, forcing himself to pull back but was stopped when Eddie’s soft lips pressed firmly against his hairline. A promise, he knew. Eddie stood first, though neither of them remember falling to the floor, and helped Buck up. He looked the man over and nodded to himself.

“Pack, everything and anything you can as fast as you can. Do you have any idea how much longer we have until he gets back?”

Buch nodded towards the single clock that was hanging above the door, “Just over half an hour...He, uh, he likes for me to be ‘ready’ for him when he gets home.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t help sooner,” Eddie whispered because despite his anger he cared more about the pain on Bucks face, “But I’m not going anywhere anymore. And Chris is downstairs ready to save you too. So you hurry and I’ll get him ready to go.”

“Home?” Buck asked hopefully, “He wants me, uh, he really wants me to come back with you guys? Because if you aren’t sure and he isn’t ready—“

“He knows as well as I do that you’re our family. You belong with us forever because we love you more than anything in the world Buck,” Eddie said with a sureness unlike any other, as if he was stating a well known and established fact.

It was impossible to argue with even if you wanted to.

Eddie was thankful (and furious) that Buck only had a few items worth packing and they could leave within ten minutes. He was glad to take the duffel bag from the mans arms so that Buck could rush to pick Chris up like always. He smiled to himself upon seeing the bright smile take over the distressed frown on his friends face. They had all settled into the car and began driving off before Jared would ever even know they were there.

Buck was overwhelmed with the sense of familiarity that came with the drive back to Eddie’s. With the sound of Chris’s excited voice catching him up on everything he’s missed while Eddie occasionally chimed in on some things. How on certain silly or random topics he would turn and make eye contact with Eddie as if they were both thinking the same thing without needing to say it. He couldn’t stop relishing the fact that it was still so easy to be himself and to be with them even after everything that’s happened. 

Which meant that he was beyond overjoyed when he stepped through Eddie’s door for the first time in months and was greeted with the rest of his family. The smell of the food and their smiling faces was so painfully sweet that he couldn’t imagine how this was how his night was ending after everything that happened earlier. Each person, now including his big sister, pulled him into an embrace and let their happiness at his presence show without shame.

Their words of love were quick to drown out the ones he was used to hearing everyday. The “I love you, Buckaroo,” replaced the “Nobody will ever love you”. The “We missed you” and “I’m glad you’re here” made up for the “nobody wants you around. You’re a nuisance in everyone’s lives”. It was a breath of fresh air that was just as life saving as the first one he took after the wave hit.

Buck was thankful that nobody brought up Jared as they all sat around the living room for dinner. He knew that it was an elephant in the room that he would have to address soon, but was glad that they didn’t push the issue tonight. That they kept the air light and open without drag. It was beyond tempting for him to gush our apologies for everything over the last few months, but the lingering hand of comfort that Eddie kept on his shoulder kept him from doing so. A touch that acted as a silent reminder that they didn’t need his apologies because in reality he had nothing to apologize for.

The rest of the night went by like a dream before he found himself saying goodbye to the last of his family before closing the door. Then it was just himself, Eddie, and his Chris. His face was sore from smiling so much but he didn’t mind as he turned to the half-asleep boy besides him on the couch. The kid was leaning into his side while fighting his drooping eyes every few minutes. 

On the other side of him was Eddie (just like it always had been), who was leaning into him just as much as his son. Only his brown eyes were wide open and shining with a look that could only be described as pure affection, which made Bucks Heart rapidly beat inside his chest. Another thing that somehow never changed was how much he loved Eddie, only now he was beginning to suspect that those feelings were more reciprocated than he had originally thought.

Eddie brought his lips close to Bucks ear as he whispered, “I think we need to tuck Chris in. Mind lending me a hand?”

Buck couldn’t suppress his shiver but nodded nonetheless. He carefully scooped the small boy up in his hands and together both men walked down the hall to the kid’s bedroom. Buck laid him down while Eddie moved to tuck him in. They both took turns to kiss the small boys forehead while telling him their share of good-nights before sneaking out quietly.

Without a word Eddie took Bucks hand and guided him to his own bedroom. He was sure to leave the door slightly cracked so if Buck felt like leaving at any point during their conversation he knew he could. The last thing Eddie wanted was for buck to ever feel trapped in their home like he was in Jared’s. He went to his side drawer, where he knew he kept Bucks old clothes, and grabbed the mans pajamas.

“Eddie..”

“I know. We will talk about whatever you want and god I have so much I want to tell you, but first get changed. Take some time to breath and think about whatever it is you want to tell me because it’s your choice.”

Buck nodded and smiled appreciatively before doing as he was told. While he got changed in the master bathroom he couldn’t help but think about how even being told to do things by Eddie wasn’t the same as it was with Jared. How he knew that the man was only telling him to do it for his own good. That he did have a choice in reality, but that Eddie wouldn’t abuse his friendship the way that Jared did his relationship.

When he got back into the room he saw Eddie sitting on the edge of his bed looking small and irresistible all at once. He took Eddie’s hands, which were being held out as an offering, and moved to settle besides the man he loves. The hands were warm and rough but familiar, which was something the Buck was seeking All this time. What he was only now coming to realize is that Eddie was seeking it too.

Eddie looked at him with honey warmed eyes and whispered, “I thought I lost you for good for a second there. When he took you that last time, when he _forced_ you out of my grasp...I couldn’t live with myself if that was it.”

“I thought so too,” Buck admitted. “Only it wasn’t the first time. I thought it everyday at work when he picked me up, or at Chris’s birthday party, or when...”

Buch hesitated to admit that his own jealousy and insecurities was what led to this emotional disaster. He didn’t want to say it not because he was scared to admit his feelings, but because he was afraid that Eddie would blame himself. Would question his own part in the events that led up to today. The last thing Buck wanted was for his friend to blame himself when he too had done nothing wrong.

But Bucks as tired of lies, so he said, “When you told me you were moving on.”

Eddie’s brows furrowed in confusion, “What are you talking about, Buck?”

“That night when I last hung out here for Pizza Friday and you told me about the woman you hooked up with. I thought, I don’t know, that you were ready to move on after Shannon. To date and try again and that I would...”

Buck looked to Eddie sadly and the man understood where that sentence was going, “Be left behind?”

Buck nodded, “I thought that if you decided to bring someone into your lives then I should try to move on. To stop holding onto these feelings I have for you and try to do the same. To meet someone I could love that wasn’t you and to have a family of my own. One that would give Chris cousins or something?”

“Buck, no, I wasn’t ever planning on leaving you behind. I also had these feelings for you that I wanted to try and forget so that our friendship would be saved, that’s why I went to the bar. That’s why I got wasted to the point that some random woman was almost enough to get you out of my head.”

“Almost?”

“No amount of alcohol could ever drown out my love for you, Buck. The whole time I was with her I was thinking about how wrong it was since she wasn’t you. Jesus, that’s why I was dumb and told you...I wanted to see if you felt a fraction of the way I did. Yo fui estúpido.”

A million thoughts were running through each of the men’s heads. Thoughts about how dumb they each had been, how much could’ve been changed if they talked, or about how they were both finally being honest. The most prominent, and arguably most important, thought that they moth shared was that they both knew now. They both knew for a fact that they each had feelings for each other that were more than friendship. No more speculation or doubting because it was now stated and in the air forever.

“I love you, Evan Oliver Buckley. Te quiero hasta la Luna y más allá,” Eddie confessed at last, smiling over his tears as he felt the weight lift off his chest. “I know you’re hurting and I know you’re healing, but I need you to know that. I need you to understand I mean it when I say this is your home and I have your back. That I’ll wait however long you might need because I love you.”

Bucks heart soared and he was absolutely beaming when he said, “I love you too, Edmundo Diaz. Nothing could’ve ever changed that.”

Then Buck kissed him. Because yes, he was still hurting from his ex and yes, he was going to be for a long time. But despite this hurting and the temporary damage that was due to come, there was one thing that he knew for certain. He had waited long enough and he wasn’t going to risk waiting any longer. He was ready to allow himself to love Eddie despite his pain because he knows the only person who could help him through it was Eddie.

The one who guided him through everything. Through the explosion that nearly took his leg and all the recovering that followed. That drove him to his doctors appointments and held his hand through the worst parts of physical therapy. The man who helped him even after he nearly lost his son in a tsunami. Who held him on the nights where he couldn’t tell dream from reality and who hugged him when it all became too much.

And Eddie kissed him back. He kissed the lips of the man that gave him something to look forward to everyday when he was feeling alone. Who helped shine a ray of light into his heart at the darkest of times and reminded him that there were pure people in this world. Who would spend his New Years or 4th Of July holding him while watching some film to distract him from the fireworks rather than leaving him on his own. The man who loved his own son as if he were his own and never batted an eye when it came to it.

The love was tender and intimate in a way that felt like a perfect blend of new lovers and an old married couple with decades of experience. They pulled away only when they were forced to heave in a breath, their lips still tingling and swollen, and when they opened their eyes they smiled. A smile for their truth and for their future. A smile that screamed “screw Jared because I love you” in both directions. They didn’t do more than kiss because they wanted to keep the moment pure and true, like their relationship had always been. 

The exhaustion of the day weighed on them so they laid down together. Buck found he was no longer hesitant or worried about what he was doing because it was Eddie. They didn’t need to speak before they found themselves instantly settled in each other’s arms. Eddie wrapped his arms around Bucks shoulders while the other man had his arms wrapped around his waist. They fit together perfectly, but then again they always had. Nothing had felt more right in that moment then the two of them together with Chris down the hall, doomed to wake them up with a burst of giggles in the morning.

So they slept and looked forward to what the morning would bring along with each second after that until the end of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. If you have any suggestions or ideas you’d like me to write feel free to write them down below. If not, feedback is welcome and appreciated as always.
> 
> Spanish Translations:
> 
> “No, mi amor, no es tu culpa....No hiciste nada mal. Esta Bien, te tenemos.” —> No, my love, it is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. It’s okay, we’ve got you.  
> “Aye Dios mío”—> Oh my god  
> “Querido”—> Darling  
> “Yo fui estupido”—> I was stupid  
> “Te quiero hasta la Luna y más allá”—> I love you to the moon and back.


End file.
